


apple cider vinegar (all you had to do was think)

by regionalsky



Series: "the golden age" because we all want to look at our yearbooks in 20 years and smile [2]
Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Alcohol, Baseball, Dandelions, Dark Past, Flashback, Fluff ish, He fucked up, High School, Josh - Freeform, M/M, Summer, Tyler - Freeform, and he's trying to fix things with josh, apple cider vinegar by drive me home please, based off of a song, but nope, but that's okay, cute ish, don't get triggered, i think it's a suicide, idk what was going on in my head, jesus christ this one is weird, josh fell and tyler is fake, josh reads random books, joshler - Freeform, majorly fucked up in the past, pretty badly, read it, stream of conciousness, they're both fucked up, thoughts, tyler and josh used to be popular, tyler likes sci fi, tyler makes one last attempt to talk to josh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-18
Updated: 2017-07-18
Packaged: 2018-12-03 17:03:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,932
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11536566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/regionalsky/pseuds/regionalsky
Summary: Tyler makes dandelion crowns when he's drunk- maddy told him he had to get better or else.joshua dun is fucked in the head from day onethey fight in a library and tyler likes science fiction





	apple cider vinegar (all you had to do was think)

**Author's Note:**

> woah  
> this was originally an argument only and then a story appeared so welp  
> this is a fic I wrote while listening to Apple Cider Vinegar by Drive Me Home Please- a super small indie band I found while trying to be an angsty sad teen. Check them out, it's good music.  
> enjoy?

A Tuesday in the middle of the summer and rain had finally hit the parched ground; it was still slightly overcast and Tyler decided to walk. In long sleeves, even though he didn’t have to. He was wearing the shirt, their shirt, to the place.

It was the library, their library, and Tyler though he would see him. He hoped. He almost hoped that the lime green vans and the black hoodie wouldn’t be there, but they were and Tyler wasn’t about to step down.

Placing his backpack on the ground next to a table across the room, where their eyes would meet if they looked up at the same time, Tyler pulled a paperback out of his bag. It was a short, thick book- the way sci fi novels were shaped when authors wanted to attract people who would pick the meaning of the book apart as if their life depended on it. Tyler would read it, mull over the chapters, and write passive aggressive comments on wiki pages. People mostly ignored him, but occasionally he could spark a conversation with the college grads who ruled the Ender’s Game wiki and shot down almost any theory that conflicted their own. Once or twice, he had actually said something noteworthy enough to have his own ideas added as a sidenote to the official website. This book was his favorite, one he had actually begun a whole new theory on: it smelled like coffee and old paper, and his hands dwarfed the soft edged cover.

The boy did not look up. He had to have know Tyler was there. Of course he knew. Tyler kept trying to reach his eye, but he didn’t ever look up. There was no chance of starting a conversation this way. 

Tyler decided he had to at least try.

Everyone was definitely staring at him as he walked across the carpeted floor, they definitely felt the tension he did. Didn’t they? He came to a stop a few feet away from the boy, in front of his desk. The boy still pretended not to hear him, and Tyler cleared his throat. 

“Hey,”

“Hey.” He didn’t even look up.

“How, uh, how are you? How have you been?”

The other boy shook his head. “Please don’t.”

“Come on,” Tyler stepped closer to the other boy.

“No.” His eyes stayed down on the page.

“Please?” Tyler whispered, voice cracking. 

“Look,” the boy put his hand down in the book and briefly met Tyler’s eyes. “You know we aren’t supposed to talk. I mean, I can’t. I’m, uh, not allowed, I’m not supposed to.”

“What?”

“Don’t play dumb.” he muttered. 

“Josh, it’s been a  _ year _ .” Tyler reached behind him and pulled a chair up. “C’mon, I’ve been trying to find you forever-”

“Which is why I don’t come here.”

“Josh,” He put his arms on the table and leaned forwards. “It’s been. A year.”

“It’s been less than a year, we met a year ago but it happened more like eight months-”

Tyler waved his hands. “Yeah, but like, it doesn’t matter? That’s old history. Whatever happened was history. I honestly, truthfully don’t remember exactly what happened.”

Josh’s head snapped up. “Yeah? You don’t remember?”

Tyler nodded. “Nope, I don’t. It was stupid.”

Sighing, Josh shook his head. Started laughing. “Stupid, yeah? Stupid? Tyler, we got suspended.  _ Suspended.” _

“Yeah, but, I mean, in the end we were fine, it wasn’t our fault-”

“But do you think they knew? Do you think they ever stopped talking?”

Tyler opened his mouth, but Josh cut him off. “No. They never. Shut. Up. Why? You.” Josh’s mouth twitched with anger, and he struggled to keep his voice down. “You should leave. Now.” He looked back down to the hem of his sleeve, picking at it to keep his hands from shaking.

“I- Josh, what happened to you?” Tyler asked, reaching to place a hand on Josh’s. The other boy jerked away. 

“Nothing. Nothing that you need to know about.”

“I know there were rumors, like, I know people talked but Josh, Josh they talked about me too and I thought you were okay-” 

Josh slapped Tyler’s extending hand away. “You said you would always be there! And were you there? No. Ran off to save your own ass, your own pretty face, wrote a fucking  _ poem  _ about me and thought that would help-”

Tyler’s eyes were burning and his voice came out high and strained. “I didn’t mean for anyone to see that, not ever, that wasn’t my fault-”

“Yeah, it wasn’t?” Josh snapped. “You said so many things. So, so many fucking things.”

“And I would have kept them!” Tyler snarled. “If you didn’t run away like a scared little bitch, if you had just  _ kept your mouth shut-” _

“Oh, so this is my fault? How was I supposed to know not to say anything if you never told me? Never talked to me? I thought I was being helpful. I thought I was  _ saving  _ you.” Josh shook his head. “I was wrong, fucking wrong and you should leave before people see something and start talking.”

Tyler laughed. “I don’t care, you shouldn’t care either. You’re already a fucking outcast-”

“At least I’m not a whore-”

“At least I have a choice??”

He only realized what he said after the words left his mouth, and it was too late for Tyler to take them back. Josh’s head was down, low, and his shoulders shook slightly.

When he finally looked back up, his eyes were red. 

“J, I- I’m sorr-”

“We- we were supposed to raise a dog together.” Josh whispered. “You said we would be happy. An- and that you would always be there, always, even when I fucked things up too badly to fix them.” He sniffed and shook his head. “Wrong. Liar.”

Tyler stared.

“Bye.” Josh stood, pulling his backpack off the chair. “Don’t talk to me again.”

 

Tyler didn’t move until the library closed. Guilt tore at his mind- what the fuck had he been thinking? What had he done to Josh?

He sat on the windowsill of his third story bedroom- he didn’t know where things went wrong.

Josh, Josh had been happy. 

He was at a baseball game, of all things. He hated the stupid sport, it was boring but his friends had beer and they weren’t willing to go anywhere else. He was 15, and it wasn’t even a real game. Just a practice scrimmage in the middle of the summer. He had only been there to get tipsy and go home and try to fool his parents.

The beer had only barely touched his lips when he saw the stupid kid wander across the field. He was lost, definitely lost. Tyler shuddered when he thought about the way Josh had grinned at him, 16 and in a new city. Trying to find the high school.

The sun had illuminated the boy’s hair into a halo, and the entire world had been warm. Josh had waved at him and Tyler had just smiled, smiled and picked a dandelion and sucked the bitter milk out.

Tyler didn’t know what hit him; he wasn’t drunk enough to justify it. But he found himself showing the boy around the school, picking dandelions as they went. Talking. Laughing. He liked the boy, he made him a flower crown without noticing. His fingers were green and sticky as they stood in the shade of the old brick building.

“Here,” Tyler had said, holding out the slightly bent circle to the older boy.

“What is this?” Josh had laughed, taking it from him.

“I dunno, my little sister taught me how and told me I had to get better.” Tyler had shrugged. “She likes crowns.”

“A crown, yeah?” Josh had smiled. “It’ll probably fit.” When it was on his head, Tyler hadn’t been able to take his eyes off the older boy. It had been stupidly obvious. 

Eventually, when Josh offered a ride home for the younger, still slightly tipsy boy, Tyler had kissed him. Hard. A lot. And Josh had liked it. A lot. They had spent a while in the car.

No had seen and no one had known and sometimes, Josh still let Tyler make flower crowns for him. Tyler had been Josh’s first friend, who had moved from a different city and needed a new start.

Josh was charismatic and funny and loud, he jumped right into a lot of groups of friends. They all had loved him and Tyler was still there, with their field and his stupid love for the color yellow.

Josh never told Tyler but he hated yellow, absolutely hated it but when Tyler grinned, it felt like that summer day again and Josh was always happy with him. 

It happened. It happened it happened it happened and Tyler had stolen that happiness, the friends, the  _ yellow  _ out of Josh. Tyler could have fixed it, he could have saved things when it happened but he let things be things and Josh had drifted away. The dandelions wouldn’t have looked right on the Josh Tyler talked to in the library; they would have seemed silly, fake, too bright. Too optimistic.

They were weeds, anyways. Tyler sighed and glared at the flowers growing next to his house; they were flowers, weren’t they?

Josh needed him. Tyler shouldn’t have avoided him for so long, but Josh was a junior, Tyler was a sophomore, they weren’t in school yet, Josh was weird, no one liked him, Tyler didn’t have time for that, Tyler didn’t know what to say- no. He just didn’t want to see how badly Josh had needed him and how he had avoided him.

But it wasn’t Josh anymore, was it? He had left Josh behind, killed that part of Josh. He was dead. Flying. Who knew. Just gone because the kid now, this kid that was left behind was a shell who probably wouldn’t kiss Tyler the way Josh would. This kid wasn’t worth saving because he was so far gone, and Tyler didn’t feel like saving him. He wasn’t Josh and he never would be again.

Tyler swung his legs, holding a hand over his eyes the shield them from the sun. Cicadas buzzed and he glared at the weeds even more. Where was Josh? Where could he find real Josh? Not at the library, not in his head; Josh was gone. He had killed him when it happened, when Tyler tried to save his own face and name and left Josh to fend for himself. Tyler was fine, no one thought he was weird. But Josh was weird.

He had always been weird, if you listened to the rumors you could hear his entire life story.

But Tyler had heard it from actual Josh’s mouth, from the real one and that’s how everyone else knew. So it wasn’t rumors; it was the truth and Tyler told them to clear up the lies they told about him, except the truth was worse than the lies and Tyler just told them so they would think he was on their side while Josh rotted in the dust.

Tyler knew it was his fault. He killed real Josh. 

It was all his fault and he wanted to go see real Josh. The only way to see Josh was to pick dandelions, to make a crown.

Tyler took the shortest route to the weeds growing alongside the chipped paint house. 

He probably found summer Josh, dandelion Josh, wherever he went. Maybe. He was probably just trying to be happy. 


End file.
